I thought I might eat me some cheese
with my crackers and wine.
I like my wine red or white or even the blushy kind.
I don't whine if my wine is bad. I never, ever cry.
Not because of my whine, no, but because my wine is fine.

I thought you might like cheese with your crackers and my sausage.
That's not a euphemism, but I am a euphemism kid.
I thought you might like a cheese ball.
It is cheesy and fun.
And spray cheese in a cheese can,
well, you can't go wrong with one.

I thought that this year would get better
if I added cheese.
So here you go, my cheesy friend
some more cheese if you please.
I thought we could try
without cheese,
just once or twice tonight.
Though we'll keep
smiling cheese, of course,
no more of the sliced kind.

I thought that we might eat some food
without cheese for my gut.
My gut it don't like it no more
it really hurts my butt.
I thought that we could switch to something
a little higher fiber.
Not too much fiber, just enough,
I don't want to fight her.