I want to sing a song that might be about a big old crap.
I think this song might be about my biggest ever crap.
I had a real big crap.
I think you might not believe the size of my bigest crap.

I think you might not believe that my crap it was so huge.
I thought it might be bigger than my mom's Labrador Hugh.
My big old crap it was huge.
I think it was so huge that I might never poop again.

And, now I don't know how that corn it stayed so well within.
I thought I once heard that corn, you digest it, just leaving skin.
I think that my poop, it had skin.
Truly, why does that corn skin feel so wrong to have within?

Perhaps because I stopped eating corn when I was only ten.
I decided corn was no good so I just gave it up.
But why was it still within?
Perhaps that corn was a time trav'ling little piece of crap.