Music

A Long Time Ago

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 51
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: A Long Time Ago
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black

Lyrics

A long time ago
I thought I was just a man
but I was wrong. I was wrong.
I’m not actually a man.

I found, a long time ago, time ago,
that I was something much, much more.
I found that I actually was a town
in Colorado called Four-By-Four.

I’ve never been to the town
called Four-By-Four,
but I know that’s what I am.
I am not a human. I am a town.

It was a little surprising when I found out.
But it grew on me, yes, and I found
so many things
were explained by this fact.

I have never been to that town
because I can not be inside myself!
That is why I’ve never been to Four-By-Four,
the town in Colorado!

I don’t know why it’s called Four-By-Four,
and I don’t even know if that’s it’s real name.
or maybe that’s just what the townspeople all it
Because they love to ride their four-by-fours.

But I know that’s what I am.
I am that little town in Colorado.
Now you know! Now you know.
I am so much more than a man.

And you know that in Colorado
they legalized recreational marajuana.
And that explains my memory lapses.
That explains my good disposition.

They must be so high in that town!
They must be having really good times!
Because, you know, I’m a town in Colorado.
A town that is now filled with smiles.

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Teeth

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 48
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Teeth
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genres:
    • theme:dreams
    • theme:teeth
    • theme:nightmares

Lyrics

Sometimes I dream of spitting out all my teeth.
One by one until my mouth is clean.
How many teeth do I spit out?
You would think it would stop at a dozen.
Maybe I could spit out
five hundred and fourty-three.

But the teeth, oh the teeth,
they just keep on coming.
I spit them out in a constant, constant stream.
So many teeth, they hit the ground,
embedding themselves in everything.
So many teeth to be found covering the ground.

And the scene before me
switches to black and white.
It’s such a toothy scene to be seen.
There I am under this old tree
spitting teeth at everything.
A fountain of teeth is me.

My perspective shifts and then I’m a tooth,
flying in the air and embedding in a bird.
The bird takes off in the air
and flies around, but something’s wrong.
Something’s wrong. The teeth they spread!
I consume that lovely bird and it’s a toothy thing.

And I spit them out covering, yes, everything.
They don’t just stop at one or a dozen.
The teeth keep on coming,
keep on covering things,
until it is a toothy town.
Until the toothy town comes down.

And as those tooth buildings fall down,
it reminds me of my mouth … closing.
And as those toothy buildings come down,
I think again of spitting.
But I don’t! I don’t!
I want toothy doom stopped.

So I just let the valley
sink in to the ground.
That toothy town,
it is way, way down.
Where it now will never be found, be found.
It will now never be found.

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When Life Throws You Wrenches

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 43
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: When Life Throws You Wrenches
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Genres:
    • ss082518a
    • superskirmish
    • feast
    • theme:introspection
    • theme:life

Lyrics

I have a question to ask.
Is the sprint starting on time?
I have a question to ask.
What is going on?

I wanted a super duper song.
I thought I would sing it starting now.
I wanted a super song.
But I’m left with my question.

I know that sometimes life throws you wrenches.
And you must true duck or they’ll stick in your gears.
Sometimes life it throws you wrenches.
But if you do what I do, you’ll still appear.

When life throws me wrenches, why I just turn to goo.
Big black slimy goo, kind of like a tar pit!
Life can throw me wrenches, but they don’t stick to my gears.
Because I have no gears to stick to!

Or maybe I have gears that are so, so tiny
that they look like black tar and can swallow anything.
So when life throws you wrenches, what will you do?
Maybe you need to become goo!

Swallow the wrenches deep inside.
Transform them to more goo if you can.
Maybe you could instead fossilize
if that wrench actually looked like a cow or an elephant!

Do what you do and do it so well.
And when something’s thrown at you swallow it as well.
And if you like you can do the same,
when you bump in to something strange!

Maybe you’ll bump in to me today.
Maybe I’ll bump in to you.
And if you’re not lucky,
I’ll swallow you, too.

Because, that’s kind of what I do.

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Dream Dragon

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 39
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Dream Dragon
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genres:
    • crapcapella
    • family-songs

Lyrics

Some people can’t make their dreams.
They’re stuck dreaming other people’s dreams.
But you, yes, you!
Can burn those stinky dreams down!

You’re like a dream, dream dragon!
Burning all the yucky dreams!
Making space for the
beautiful dreams to come!

You really know how to make the special dreams!
You’re my darling! You’re my sweet, sweet son.
And you are like a fancy dream dragon
as you devour all those boring dreams!

Clearing space for better dreams!
Clearing space for fishy dreams!
Clearing space for lovely dreams
about great machines!

What kind of darling dream will you dream?
My dream dragon always dreaming things.

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When we need you, Scooby-Doo

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 38
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: When we need you, Scooby-Doo
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

When we need you, are you there?
Do we see your lovely brow?
When we need you, we need you.
Please don’t cower down.

Your face is so lovely! Please gather it around!
We need you! We need you!
Please and thank you! We need you!
Yes, we need you! And it is true.

When they gather in your name,
and they watch your shows on TV.
We cheer, yes, all the same,
because we love you, love you lots.

When they gather in your name,
you know kids they love to greet you.
Oh, Scooby Doo, you’re the best,
and we love you lots.

You’re mysteries are scruptious!
Just like your Scooby Snacks!
You’re mysteries are scruptious!
Careful or Fred will get whacked!

And if you find you’re somewhere scary,
just look for the food, and be yourself, yes, hairy.
When you eat things,
it saves you from scary stuff about.

We love you Scooby-Doo,
you’re the best pup in town.
We love you Scooby-Doo,
yes, you’re the best pup in town.

When you get done with your next mystery,
could you and Shaggy come and see me?
I want to go to a hot-dog eating contest, don’t you see?
I think you would surely win, win, win.

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Spiderman, we need you

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 37
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Spiderman, we need you
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

When you need him,
will he be there?
When you need him,
will he come?

Spiderman! You’re my guy.
Will you be here when we need you?
Spiderman! You’re our guy.
We have put out food for you.

We need you to help
to bring justice to the people.
We need you to help
to bring back the good.

Spiderman, where are you?
We’ve left out your food.
We need you! we need you!
Won’t you be true?

Spiderman! Oh, Spiderman!
Doing what it is you do.
Spiderman! Oh! Spiderman!
We love, yes, you!

But where are you?
Where are you?
We long to see you.

We know you’re out there somewhere.
Yes, Spiderman.
We know you’re out there somewhere.
Helping as you can.

But why don’t you take
a more active role?
The people, they need you,
and seeing you would be good.

Oh, Spiderman! Oh, Spiderman!
I know that you’re the best.
You’re swinging from your web,
and you defeat all the rest.

But where are you
when we need you the most?
You didn’t take on the bankers,
and it makes us sad.

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I Wonder

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 35
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: I Wonder
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: S.W. Black
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Liner Notes

This was originally a car recording.

The base material was recorded on February 28th, 2017.

It languished in a large file with other songs until August 12th, 2018.

Lyrics

I wonder
I wonder what is going on.
I wonder. Yes, I wonder.
How I can put it all in a song.
I would like to know.

What is going on?
Not in the country. Oh no, no, no.
Not in the world. Oh, no, no.
I would like to know what’s going on with me.
Right here. Right now.

How would you like to grow, grow, grow?
Change in form and shape and function.
How would you like to grow, grow, grow?
Never knowing what you’ll become.

I would like to know these things.
Know so many lovely things.
I would like to know these things.
And I would like to know them in a song.

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My daughter’s blanket

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 34
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: My daughter’s blanket
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

My daughter prepared me fast to sleep.
She gave me this darling blanky!
It’s a little itchy, truthfully be told,
because it’s made of hair.

This good blanket has a lock of hair
that’s poking me right over there!
I need to scratch it! Oh, quite so!
This good blanket is made from hair!
But it leaves me so itchy.

I don’t know where it came from.
I did not buy this blanket for her.
I know that her mother didn’t buy it,
And none of our family, too.

How did she get this blanket?
Why is it so itchy?
It’s really poking me right over there.
Look at that lock of hair!

I think she brought it from outside one day.
Maybe it belonged to a neighbor, I’ll say.
I think it probably didn’t belong to an animal.
But what kind of hair is it made from?

I don’t really know,
but it doesn’t smell like wool!
I don’t really know,
and I’m pretty sure it’s not cat!

What kind of hair
is this blanket made from?
I want to know!
I want to know.

While I scratch that itch –
Wait, I am growing hair!
I wasn’t expecting that there!
Why am I growing hair?

Where did this come from?
What’s happening to me?
Where did this come from?
Why can’t I see?

There’s hair!
There’s hair!
Everywhere.

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Compost Long Form Poetry

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 31
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Compost Long Form Poetry
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: S.W. Black
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

Compost long-form poetry!
Compost long-form poetry!
It doesn’t need to be about hair!
It’s compost long-form poetry.

Have you thought of
long-form poetry
composting words
and ideas, you see?

Compost long-form poetry.
It gets inside your head.
Compost long-form poetry.
It does not leave you dead.

I thought of making a poem.
A really, super, long-form poem.
I’ve thought of making a poem,
but I have not started it.

But I have composted
ideas about poems!
I have composted
ideas for where to begin!

I think I might sing a song.
It’s kind of like poetry.
I think I might sing a story.
It’s kind of for you and me.

And compost long-form poetry!
It rolls off the tongue!
Compost long-form poetry!
It’s truly the best for everyone!

Would you like me to add
a song and a story to this?
I sang this once before,
but let me add more narrative.

When the poem here,
I started singing,
I started long ago,
but I kept on singing.

As I sang through the day and night,
my children shivering with fright,
they did not know what to do,
and they got hungry, too.

I thought of long-form composting,
and long stool, too.
I’ve thought of logs turned to mulch,
and I thought of poo.

And I remained there
until I was through.
My children crying,
and weeping. Very true.

They did not want me to continue.
They were, oh, so very hungry.
They wanted me to stop,
But I was never through.

Compost long-form poetry.
It’s not like a fungus
that grows on trees.
But it takes some time.

Takes some time,
Like the mold as it, it grows.
The things that we see as fungus
Are just the fruiting, fruiting woes.

Compost long-form poetry.
It grows deep inside of you and me.
What you must do is what I did
and open, yes, yourself up!

Extract it! Extract it!
Before the fruiting body breaks you up!
It, like you, will be composted,
just like the fungus.

It, like you, will be composted,
And that’s not fun for anyone.
Compost long-form poetry.
It’s not just for old fogies.

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The Lady Of The Cheese

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 32
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: The Lady Of The Cheese
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

Someone smells like sausage!
Someone smells like mushrooms!
Someone smells like bacon
and they’re sticking their feet in this room.

I don’t know why! She smells like these things.
I think it’s because she rolls in pizza!
I don’t know why! She smells like these things.
I think it’s because she pizza rolls!

Sometimes she likes to dance on the ceiling
while holding her brother’s thumb.
Sometimes she likes to wiggle her toes
outside the colosseum!

She does these things in her mind!
Exploding seven cities!
She wanted to destroy an eighth,
but she decided to turn them to cheese!

She loves her cheesy city!
She likes to visit it for noshing!
Cheese is the most stolen food
Because it is so yummy!

She likes to steal the cheese!
But not the cheese kitties!
She likes to pet them,
even though they’re cheese!

And they leave crumbs on her fingers!
She likes to devour the evil human cheese!
She makes her mouth oh, so, so wide!
And sometimes she smashes holes in them.

Cheesy, cheesy people!
They crumble to the ground.
They’re so cheesy and yummy!
And they hardly make a sound!

She’s the queen of the cheese town!
Or maybe the Empress!
Whatever label she uses
She’ll still be the best!

She’s the lady of the cheese!
And she does what she pleases!
Sometimes that includes
Throwing cheese at me!

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My chicken Bessie

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 33
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: My chicken Bessie
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: S.W. Black
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

I thought it was from an animal when I saw it.
I thought it most surely was.
t was just a little piece of hair.
And I did not feel I’d lost me some.

But, I know, that the cats, they fight.
Yes, the cats they fight and pull out hair.
So, that’s what I thought, at first.
It was a little bit of hair.

But, I did not expect
that little bit to grow.
Creeping over the carpet
like it was in a show.

It creeped and it crawled!
Oh, so long,
until it reached my chicken.
My beautiful, beautiful chicken!

My chicken’s name was Bessie.
Because, I could not have a cow.
My chicken’s name was Bessie.
And she did not appreciate hair that way!
She did not appreciate hair!

Little Bessie pecked and clucked
and tried to remove it furiously.
Little Bessie pecked and clucked
and she was definitely not filled with glee.
I thought she might have peed!

But, she could not stop the errant hair!
As it crawled all up her thigh.
She could not stop that errant hair!
And it tried to get inside!

Fortunately, for us all,
it had not expected a cloaca.
What it found when it went inside
destroyed that horrible hair.

Bessie saved the day that day.
Bessie saved us all.
I do not know what was in her, but
it truly saved us all.

So, you know, my good friend,
she still has her special spot.
And she sits and clucks on my lap
while we watch monster stuff.

Bessie, you’re the best!
You saved us from that errant hair.
Bessie, you are the best!
You will be someday be missed.

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I loved her hair

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 28
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: I loved her hair
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band

Lyrics

I did not see her again. I did not see her again.
I wanted to. I wanted to, but she was gone.
She left me alone and sad, it’s true.
But she left behind something just for me.

It was a strand of her lovely, lovely hair.
I wanted more, you know I swear.
I wanted her whole beautiful head of hair
attached to her beautiful body there.

But she! She left me, because of my habit.
My habit of touching her hair and ignoring
what she said when she told me to stop touching her hair.
Because I loved her hair!

I loved her hair!
And now she has gone, and even stolen the wig
that I made out of strands of her hair.
I collected it from hairbrushes, yes, I swear.

She never liked my special wig,
so she stole it when she left.
And so, I am lost without her hair.
There’s just a strand.

I’ve locked it up there.
And so, I am lost without her hair,
so I’ll talk to the strand that she left behind.
It will tell me where to find.

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Lost My Hair

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 27
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Lost My Hair
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band

Lyrics

I have gone and lost my hair.
It was sitting over there!
Right on that lovely chair.
That’s where I last saw my hair.
I don’t have hair, you see,
Because I am a lizard!
And lizards like me, we can grow no hair.

I know you probably grow some hair and stuff.
Your skin is, oh, so strange.
And you shed it just all over, and it’s real disgusting.
It would be cleaner if you shedded it in sheets.

But, I still, still miss my hair.
It was so lovely, that hair I kept there!
I looked at it and touched it, and sometimes slept with it.
I tied it around my forearm!
And now I am missing! Missing that hair!
I would like another, if you have any to spare.

But if you are a birdy, could you steal me one?
The humans they discard them everywhere.
If you are a birdy, could you spare some?
I know you know how wonderful they are.
They make things nice and real cozy.
They make a nest so lovely!

And it’s really nice snuggle up
On cold days and when you’re too hot!
Because, sometimes, you just want to snuggle up!
Perhaps after you have eaten a big meal.

I do like my meals once a week and not too soon.
Yes, I like my meals. I don’t know how you mammals eat so fast!
I am not that impatient. I can wait until I’m hungry!
Why do you eat so fast? Is it because of your hair?

Having that lovely hair did not make me eat fast.
It kept me company, but I did not change my repast.
I do like the hair, but if that is the exchange,
I would prefer to simply wat once a week again.

So, if you need to keep your hair to yourself,
That is okay, because I just want to eat once a week.
Just once a week for me!
I don’t know why you like to eat all the freaking time.

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Beautiful Hair

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 29
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Beautiful Hair
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band

Lyrics

Have you considered a whole album of hair?
You could start with a single song.
Each song, like a strand, becomes much more.
Much more than a simple song.

Each strand is woven, with neighbors right.
Becoming locked in so tight.
The songs in the album will have such might!
Opening doors and shining light.

And so we sing of the songs of hair.
Not just any old disgusting hair.
It’s beautiful hair. Beautiful hair.
Even if only single strands.

The beautiful hair that we sing about
could be from anyone, I swear.
There’s so much beautiful hair,
and so many that grow it.

Beautiful people with beautiful hair.
If you’re listening and you have hair,
I’m telling you, it’s looking beautiful today.
You’re a beautiful person with beautiful hair.
I hope that you sometimes comb it, but if you don’t
it’s still really lovely hair.

And now that you’ve heard my song,
and you thought long about your lovely hair.
What will you do to honor your hair?
The beautiful hair that you have there?

That beautiful hair you have there.

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Pirate Drake Egg Ghost Paintbrush

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 30
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Pirate Drake Egg Ghost Paintbrush
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black

Lyrics

Pirate Drake Egg Ghost Paintbrush!
I think you are the best paintbrush.
Pirate Drake Egg Ghost Paintbrush!
You paint me like a ghost!

I thought I was just a normal Drake egg,
but you painted me like a pirate egg.
I thought I was just a paintbrush,
but now I look so eggy and ghostly.

Pirate Drake Egg Ghost Paintbrush!
Just like I knew when I was young.
You came to me when I was nine,
and you gave me that paintbrush.

I thought you were just a dream
But no, you were always true.
Pirate Drake Egg Ghost Paintbrush,
to you I will be true.

I hope you are a nice pirate.
I hope you are a very nice ghost.
I hope you use your drake egg powers
to be the best drake you can be!

Because, Pirate Drake Egg Ghost Paintbrush!
You’re the paintbrush for me.

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Pooping About Singing

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 26
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Pooping About Singing
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: crapcapella

Lyrics

I’ve heard of singing about pooping
but not pooping about singing.
Why is that? Why is that?
It does not make the sense.

Why don’t we poop about singing?
If we can sing about pooping?
Why can’t we poop about singing?
Why does it not make sense.

I think if I could poop about things.
It would be to poop about food.
So much food to poop about
I could really sing.

But, I’ll poop about my food instead.
I’ll poop about it until I’m dead.
Everything I eat
gets a special, special poop.

I will poop about my food
sometimes I will poop about my drinks.
I will poop about my food
and I poop so many things.

Did you ever think you could poop
a poop that looked like a politician?
Did you ever think you could poop
a poop as big as a musician?

So many poops! So many poops!
And I sing about all of my poops.
So many poops! So many poops!
And sometimes that poop is big!

But, butt! I rarely poop about my songs!
But, butt! That’s what I’m sayin’!
I rarely poop about my songs.

My butt, it does not sing
it just goes toot, toot, toot.
My butt, it does not sing
it just goes toot, toot, toot toot.

I think my butt, it wants to sing.
I know that famous butts they sing.
That famous French tooter,
he tooted for a King, King, King!
He tooted a song for a king.

But my butt! is not so good.
Perhaps I need to practice more.
But my butt! is not so good.
It just really does the poop.

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Deep Space

  • Artists:
    • Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
    • yam655
    • Five Billion Cats
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 25
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Deep Space
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Genres:
    • electronic
    • one-chord

Liner Notes

I was hanging out with Five Billion Cats and they were playing with a recent musical toy I purchased. They were playing with low-end notes to create a drone. And that was the inspiration for this track.

Chords: C C C

Lyrics

(none)

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Mitochondrial Lesions

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 24
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Mitochondrial Lesions
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

Mitochondrial lesions
doesn’t sound all that nice.
Mitochondrial lesions
prob’ly leaves your body sad.

But, I hope that fancy doctor
fixes you up, super, super nice.
Yes, I hope that fancy doctor
does not have other things in mind.

What might he be doing
while he’s fixing your mitochondria?
What could he be implanting
deep in your cells?

I won’t know
because I’m just the muscle.
but, if I need to
I will puch your lights out.

If I need to
you will go down.
Even if it’s caused by
your mitochodria.

Mitochondrial lesions
doesn’t sound like fun.
Mitochondrial lesions
definitely not fun for anyone.
Mitochondrial lesions
not like that!

I don’t think it’s a skin disease
on your mitochondria.
But, something’s wrong inside your cells
and it’s messing with your mitochondria.

I don’t know how he’ll fix you
I’m kind of, kind of scared.
But he says you have
mitochondrial lesions.

That machine he’s using
it looks super fancy.
It’s oh, so shiny
and it kind of makes me want to push buttons.

But it is so fancy
I’m sure it will kill you
if I push the button over there
and inject you with glue.

So, I’ll just leave it to the doctor
he will tell me when he’s through.
He will fix you up so you don’t have your lesions.
He will and inject glue if needed.

So I’ll stay out here
and wait until he’s done.
I hope it doesn’t take too long.
I’ve only got 45 minutes…

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Lemon Juice

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 23
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Lemon Juice
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

This song is not about a lemon biscuit!
This song is not about a lemon cookie!
It’s not even about a yellow fish called Lemon Biscuit!
It’s not even about a little fish called Fi-fi-fi!

This song is about a lemon,
or maybe it’s about just lemon juice.
This song is just about a lemon,
or more specifically, it’s about you.
You who are the juice.

If your life is a lemon,
then maybe, you’re secretly the juice!
What kind of juice are you?
What kind of flavor do you leave behind?
What kind of juice are you?
If your life, it is a lemon.

Some people think that if life gives them lemons
that they will just make some lemonade.
But what if you actually are the lemon,
or more specifically, you are the juice it contains?

Would you still make lemonade?
Adding something sweet to yourself?
Would you still make lemonade?
Becoming something more sweet?

Or would you prefer
to simply remain bitter?
Or would you simply prefer
to make others pucker-pucker?

Because when life is a lemon,
you might be the lemon-juice in it.
Because if you’re the lemon juice,
why, what sort of recipe would you be in?

Personally, I really like hummus.
And it sort of needs some lemon, lemon juice.
Personally, I really like hummus.
And I can be it’s lemon juice.

I will be the lemon juice,
in the hummus of my life.
Because if my life was a lemon
I shall slice that life with a knife!

And extract that good lemon juice!
And deposit it in the recipe!
And I shall create some hummus from my life,
and it will bring my much glory!
And it will be so yummy!

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Clone Face

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 22
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Clone Face
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genres:
    • filk
    • lo-fi acapella

Lyrics

Did you know I had a friend,
A lovely, lovely little friend.
Did you know I had a friend,
Who was just a clone?

I met him when he saved my life.
When he saved my life, there was so much strife.
I met him when he saved my life
But he was just a clone.

He had the same face
As all his other friends.
He had the same voice
And I did not know when

He would return and give me his face.
Because, I had no face of my own.
I needed, yes, a good clone face
For I had no face of my own.

And that good clone, oh yes,
That good, good clone,
He had some faces to spare.

Because he collected the faces
And sometimes the heads
Of his fallen friends
When they wound up dead.

The faces came right off,
Because he used a special knife.
He just cut their heads right off
And he kept their faces nice,
Safe and sound in jars like that.
Sometimes mounted on plaques
And other things like that.

So he has all these faces
And he does not do
Fancy things with them
Because, like I said

They’re just like his own face
Captured and perhaps grotesque
They’re just like his own face.
So, I think he might give me one,

So, I said: Please give me a face,
Because I lost mine
When those evil people
stormed here and sliced me.

Please give me a face.
I know you have more
And I just need a nose or two.
Please, please, you’ve such a pretty face,

And I know you’ve lots to spare.
The war cost me my only face,
And I’d like to use one of yours.
I’d like to use one of yours.

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My Hair Smells Like Butt

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 21
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: My Hair Smells Like Butt
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: crapcapella

Lyrics

You are saying that my hair smells just like poop.
But it only smells like poop
Because I rubbed it on your butt.
That’s why my hair might smell like poop

Because your butt is made for pooping.
My hair smells just like your butt!
So if my hair smells like poop
it’s because your butt smells, too!

So, maybe, go and poop out your poop
And wipe your own butt.
While my hair smell like poop
All the day, and maybe all night.

Someday, I will wash my hair
And it might smell alright.
But for now, for now,
My hair smell like poop.

Sometimes I dream
That I have my head in a toilet.
Sometimes I dream
That there’s poop instead of hair.

But it’s because,
my hair smells like poop
Because somehow,
I put my hair in your butt crack.

Somehow, my hair smells just like your butt crack.

[You did!]

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Hear my toot!

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2018
  • Track: 20
  • Year: 2018
  • Title: Hear my toot!
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: crapcapella

Lyrics

Hear my, hear my toot.
Toot toot toot toot toot toot toot.
Hear my, hear my toot.
Toot toot toot toot toot.

I like to eat my beans
Because they help me toot toot toot.
I like to eat my beans
Toot toot toot toot toot.

How do you like beans?
Do you cook them?
Or do you just crack a can
so you can toot, toot toot.

I like to cook my beans,
sometimes in the microwave,
so I can gobble them.
And then toot, toot, toot, toot.

How do you like to toot?
Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot, toot.
How do you like to toot?
Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot.

I think you might like to
toot because you ate something green.
I think you might like to
toot because of vegetables.

All I know is I like to toot
and I don’t care why!
I don’t care why I toot.
I just want to toot-toot-toot.

Toot toot toot toot toot toot toot!
Toot toot toot toot toot!
Toot toot toot toot toot toot toot!
Toot toot toot toot toot!

I will release this song like gas,
like a toot, toot, toot, toot, toot.
I will release this song like gas,
toot, toot, toot, toot, toot.

And it enters your ears,
just like it might enter your nose.
Yes it enters your ears
and it makes you hear the toot!

Toot toot toot toot toot toot toot!
Toot toot toot toot toot toot toot!
Toot toot toot toot toot!
Toot toot toot toot toot!

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