That Annoying Elf

  • Album: 50/90 2015
  • Track: 19
  • Year: 2015
  • Title: That Annoying Elf
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: Stuttgart, Christian F. Witt (c. 1660–1716)
  • Poet: S.W. Black

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Santa, please could you do something
about that annoying elf.
He snoops and pries and makes me cry
and I don’t think he’s worth a shelf.

He told my mama that I ate
one of her special cookies.
He told my pa that I took his
biscuit without saying please.

I have heard that he does lie
to you about the things we do.
I have never shot a walrus.
It’s not what I want to do.

My brother heard there were pictures
of our friend Pastor Mike.
We don’t know what was in them,
but we know that they caused a fight.

Santa, does he sell his pictures
to the rags or special sites.
We never agreed to pictures.
We don’t believe that it’s right.

Did you even know he took time
away from making the toys?
Time that would be better spent
building blocks for the girls and boys.

Or perhaps he might be able to
build something we all want.
I am fond of Unicode but
I could use a nicer font.

So do you think you that could relieve
him of his awful chore.
It would really help us all
as he is really quite the bore.

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