The Christmas Hippo

  • Album: 50/90 2015
  • Track: 25
  • Year: 2015
  • Title: The Christmas Hippo
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: Felix Mendelssohn (1809–1847)
  • Poet: S.W. Black

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The Christmas Hippo likes to eat
nice things like oranges or meat
or watermellon in a can.
He does not like Dapper Dan.
His hair is perfect. It doesn’t need gel.
He makes his own sunscreen and its swell.
Blood sweat is what they call it!
You can’t get it in the market.
Blood sweat is what they call it!
You would like it, if you tried it.

The Christmas hippo brings presents
to little hippos, babies immense.
But without hands, he brings stories
of hippos former glories.
Glories now far long unsung.
Worshiped when Egypt was young.
Taueret was her holy name!
Protector of the Birth House!
Taueret was her holy name!
Mistress of the Horizon!

If you see the Christmas hippo,
you should definitely go.
Intolerant of foolish man
he’ll put your ass in a can.
Knowing you a wretched beast
rats on your flesh they will feast.
He needs no provocation!
Our kind has done enough!
He needs no provocation!
Humans are excuse enough!

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