Three Pickles

  • Artist: Mr. Beany's Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2017
  • Track: 4
  • Year: 2017
  • Title: Three Pickles
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany's Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genres:
    • 3in10
    • crapcapella

Lyrics

Delight Your Pickles

How do you delight your pickles?

How do you delight yourself?
I like my pickles, like myself
lots of flaming firecrackers, too.

Wait, I did not know that thing
that thing with firecracker pickles.
What's that word I'm looking for?
Oh, yes, I think that's strange.

Strange to eat that firecracker
strange to eat it with pickles.
Strange to eat that firecracker.

But, I suppose, I suppose,
that the firecracker might be a pepper.
I suppose, I suppose,
that firecracker is a pepper.

Pickled peppers, long and short
Pickled peppers, from here to there.
Pickled peppers, in my ears
and sometimes in my tears.
Pickled peppers!

I would like some pickled peppers.
Perhaps you could like them, too.
I would like some pickled peppers.
In a stew or in a bowl!
But never, ever just in my shoes.

Have you thought of pickled peppers?
Lying there upon the floor
step around and not in to them, please.
We don't need them squished, no more.

Pickled, pickled peppers!
Pickled cucumbers as well!
Pickled, pickled peppers!
That is where my pickling dwells.

Pickle With Hair

The pickle over there has grown a lot of hair
it's winking in my direction and making lustful eyes.

The pickle over there has grown a lot of hair
and keeps winking in this direction and giving me an eye.

I did not know pickles
could grow hair and winking!
How could they wink there!
But that pickle is doing both.
Lasciviously, eyeing most.

Yes, that pickle there, eyeing most.
Wiggling furry eyebrows, too.

Why does that pickle make these faces?
Does that pickle not quite know
it is just a pickle?
It can't really go in the show.

Have you ever thought of pickles,
green ones and gray ones and clear ones,
lots of colored pickled things
dancing in a cabaret!

Lustful little pickles leering,
eyeing all with pickles quivering.
Lots of little pickles wiggling
all in our way.

I don't think I want that pickle
with or without hair.
I don't want to touch a pickle.
No, please, never there.

But, sometimes you have got a pickle,
green and slimy, too.
And you just need to gather it up
and throw it outside.

Where, perhaps, it can grow some hair up there
and maybe look lustfully with its eyes.
But it won't be in your house, not there, because
it will be all outside.

Pickled Flowers

Pickled petunias.
Pickled flowers.
I don't know why.

Pickled petunias.
Pickled flowers.
They can't make me cry.

For you see, the pickling
process preserves lots of things
lovely and sublime.

Pickled petunias,
Pickled tulips,
and lots of pickled flowers fine.

They last so much longer
cold preserved.
I'm not talking about
boiling these things.

They last oh, much longer
when they're preserved,
and there are cold
pickling processes.
No boiling for these flowers, yes.

How would you like your flower
preserved through space and time?
It will be all thine all forever,
always looking so fine.

We can preserve that corsage
long for you, oh yes.
And that wedding flowers will
last like all the rest.

And when your day comes to go
deep in the ground
you can be covered with
these flowers you've found.

All those fine pickled flowers
can go with you to rest.
Accompanying you on your
journey like the best.

For some flowers are edible
and these are fine, I guess.
For we don't know
how they taste to the dead.

But, roses are quite edible
as are many other flowers, yes.
So, instead of drying all those bouquets
let's pickle the best.

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