Fruit With A Beard

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: 50/90 2017
  • Track: 24
  • Year: 2017
  • Title: Fruit With A Beard
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Poet: S.W. Black
  • Genre: crapcapella

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Lyrics

That tree is growing
something weird.
That tree is growing
a fruit with a beard.

I did not know that
fruits could have beards.
I thought it would
be an insect infestation.

But that beard it
has a mouth
and that mouth proclaimed it’s
not an insect.

It said, “Hey there.
I’m a thing growing on a tree.”
It says, “Hey there.
Why don’t you just let me be.

I’m just growin’ here on this tree and
I’m no insect infestation.
I’m just growin’ here on this tree.
And would you please just let me be! Just let me be!”

Did you know that sprayed
thinking that it was spiders?
They sprayed again
thinking it might be caterpillars.

That beard’s all fuzzy,
just like a good beard.
But now it’s covered in
chemicals, too.

That beard’s all sad
and whines to us all:
Why didn’t we just
leave him alone.

At least I think it
prefers the male gender.
Male pronouns usually
go with beards.

But not always.
There are lovely women
with lovely, full, and
beautiful beards.

So I don’t know
which pronoun to use
for that beard and that fruit
growing on that tree.

But just so you know,
I do know it’s sad
and it’s whining to all
and making a plea:

Please leave it alone
and let it be.

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