I Have No Shits to Give

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: Christmas 2016
  • Track: 3
  • Year: 2016
  • Title: I Have No Shits to Give
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: 16th Century English Air
  • Poet: S.W. Black

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Lyrics

I thought I might give a shit tonight
but I guess the shits are all out of me.
I thought I might give a shit tonight
but I have no more shits to give.
Shit! Shit! I don’t have no more.
I’ve pooped them all upon the floor.
Shit! Shit! I had to clean that up
and now I have no shits to give.

I thought I might crack a smile tonight
as I related that poopy story.
I thought I might crack a smile tonight
but then I remembered the stink.
Shit! Shit! It was all over
that stinky smell, it clung to me.
Shit! Shit! It was all over
and I did not want to smell it.

That stinky stuff it did not just go
where I wanted it to, don’t you know?
It just clung to me, all my cleaning stuff,
and I had to wash three or four times.
Shit! Shit! It’s so stinky.
And it clings to things, don’t you see?
Shit! Shit! It was such a mess.
And I really hate cleaning it up.

I used my gloves but it did not help.
My hands they stunk like nothing else.
I tried to clean it but I don’t know
when my hands will ever smell right.
Shit! Shit! I can take no more.
This stink must be sent out the door.
Shit! Shit! I just can’t take more.
Please, can you make this smell go away?

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