Turtle on a Biscuit

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: Christmas 2016
  • Track: 34
  • Year: 2016
  • Title: Turtle on a Biscuit
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: Felix Mendelssohn (1809–1847)
  • Poet: S.W. Black

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Lyrics

I want to eat something cool
like a turtle on a biscuit.
Perhaps I could make some gruel
for that cat to eat tonight.
Perhaps gruel would be nice
for that cat, and for it’s price.
It is made of oatmeal, too.
But cats aren’t made of oatmeal.
Gruel is made of oatmeal, yes.
But it is not made for cats.

I think the cat would like to eat
lots of meat; fresh, nice and sweet.
I think cats, they like to eat
bugs that crawl with six or eight feet.
Creepy crawly little bugs.
Crunchy, snacky little bugs.
Why do cats eat all the bugs?
I thought they also ate some mice.
Why do cats eat all the bugs?
When there are lovely tasty mice?

Have you thought what cats could cook
if they’d hands instead of feet?
Have you thought of what they cook
with their tails and just two feet.
Could the cats taste it all
without sweetness on their tongue?
What would cats cook for the chic?
If they cooked anything?
Would bugs be on the menu?
Or would we be stuck eating mice?

Have you ever thought of eating
mouse paté or maybe flank?
Have you ever thought of making
lots of things stuffed in a steak?
I once thought I’d eat it all,
anything and none at all.
Would you eat anything made
by lovely cats with their sharp claws?
Would you eat anything made,
if they made you something to eat?

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