Hedgehogs at War

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: Christmas 2016
  • Track: 36
  • Year: 2016
  • Title: Hedgehogs at War
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: Richard S. Willis (1819–1900)
  • Poet: S.W. Black

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I wanted to just get one more pet,
but then I accident’ly got more.
I thought they were just pumpkins,
but no, they’re actually
hedgehogs that roar.
These hedgehogs they play their
hedgewars games.
And they fight all day and all night.
With little caps right upon their heads
that one just stabbed me with a knife.

I thought this game might be too violent.
But then I thought about something else.
This world is built on the deaths of those
that they, they came once before.
So hedgehogs, you play your hedge hog games
and kill and you fight and you maim.
But no, these hedgehogs, they will not play
your stinky political games.

These hedgehogs they like to throw their things
and sometimes they use bats.
Baseball bats I think that’s what they’re call’d,
but they have no Cubs hats.
Those hats are from the winning team from
some game that was played earlier.
But these hedgehogs they just use their bats
to slap these hedgehogs out the door.

I thought that these hedgehogs would use dynamite
and then boom and bomb this whole bunch.
But no! they just used an old dud mine
and that, it hurt, not at all.
I wanted to use my melon bomb
but I ran out last turn or so.
So I got in my U. F. O. ship and then
I drop’d stinky cheese.

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