At Least I Eat Them in Grams

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: Christmas 2016
  • Track: 38
  • Year: 2016
  • Title: At Least I Eat Them in Grams
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: Richard S. Willis (1819–1900)
  • Poet: S.W. Black

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Lyrics

I saw the plant out upon the ground
it looked so good to eat.
I like my plants to grow there, you know.
And also up in the trees.
The trees are filled with plants in a way.
And in a way, they are plants.
And I, I like to eat trees.
Oh, yes. At least I eat them in grams.

I like to eat something awful strange
like pickles covered in hearts.
But not animal hearts, yuck, you know
I prefer artichoke hearts.
They’re hearty, yes, and they’re good for me
but blood they do not ever pump.
I’d like to see something in the trees
growing pears or maybe plums.

I thought I could eat all of that food
but I guess I made too much.
As it’s just veg’tables, then, I guess.
If I’m in doubt, I could mulch.
You see, you can compost ev’rything
and it’s easy when its veg.
You might not want to compost your friend
or enemy over here.

I thought the worm and decomp would do
to hide the smell of my meth.
That lab is making me profit, yes,
but it is also a mess.
I thought I could switch to herbs, you know,
but it they just legalized.
So I’ll keep making my meth, out there,
at least while I still have eyes.

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