Fish Are on the Menu

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: Christmas 2016
  • Track: 39
  • Year: 2016
  • Title: Fish Are on the Menu
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: Richard S. Willis (1819–1900)
  • Poet: S.W. Black

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The fish are on the menu tonight
and so are the meanest humans.
You might like the nice fish over there,
or you might like that human.
The fish are tenderized best we can
with clubs and with our flaming knives.
But humans, they’re so plump and yummy
we don’t need to tenderize.

I thought the fish would be best tonight
but what sweet to prepare with it?
Perhaps some pumpkin pie or flambé
or perhaps you’d just like stew?
I like to eat my humans all day
and sometimes I eat in the night.
With fish, I eat in the dark of night,
sometimes I snack with my sight.

I like to just eat fish with my eyes
but you could call that just looking.
It’s helpful to protect lovely fish.
I like to keep some at home.
I like to watch the fish all the day,
though sometimes it’s deep in the night.
These fish are so lovely and they glow
at least when I use my light.

I thought perhaps I would go out
and bring me back some humans to eat.
I swim around ‘cause I am a shark,
nibbling on their tasty feet.

I thought it would be really nice to
gobble up their legs and their arms.
But lo! it’s best when you go
and bite off their head: it’s like a charm.

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