Football

  • Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Album: Christmas 2016
  • Track: 40
  • Year: 2016
  • Title: Football
  • Album Artist: Mr. Beany’s Bitty Band
  • Composer: William Kirkpatrick (1838–1921)
  • Poet: S.W. Black

Download the MIDI

Download the Lilypond source

Download the PDF sheet music

Lyrics

Football is the best sport
because they’re so keen.
They know their games need money
but not all are the same.
So they share all their money
in a socialist way
and it makes for the best games,
as I like to say.

I thought that perhaps baseball
was the American game.
But it’s greedy
just like U. S. foreign policy.
But not for good old football
for as can clearly see,
the Nonprofit Football League,
yes, it does right by me.

I thought that perhaps what I needed to
see was some football for me on the football T. V.
My T. V. was shap’d like a football in my mind.
Except it could show the whole screen or so I did find.

I thought that perhaps football was the best game to see.
I liked to sit and watch it while I was drinking tea.
I thought that perhaps I might enjoy foreign policy.
But it was greedy, just like I see on T. V.

Those baseball teams are greedy
just like foreign policy.
They’re not like football
as play’d in the nonprofit league.
I like football because
they’re so socialist, see.
It is quite nice because it levels all fields for me.

I like to watch my football and I like that I see
all those lovely men in their uniforms for me
to ogle while they chase that pigskin on T. V.
though I thought it might be better if there were more for me to see.

I wonder if they could go back to Greek methodology
where they all played in the nude
and greased up their sleeves.
Except they wore no sleeves
because they just greased their skin.
And it would make for such slippery things to see.

I wanted to do something while all of them just screamed.
I thought perhaps football food, that it might be quite keen.
They all make such great yummy things for the big gaming scene.
Wanting just to eat such food was_my only dream.

I wanted to do something super nice.
Like watch foot ball and watch them all greased up sublime.
But they were wearing way too much padding as I could see.
There was nothing for me…

Download the lyrics

Download