I wanted a pie, but there was nothing left.
I would have settled for soup, but it was all gone.
Then I cried, and I cried, until tears ran no more.
Then I went to the kitchen and opened the door.
I looked for my dog, but he had gone.
He went to the neighbor, Corporal Cleft.

Mr. Cleft had a cat, but the kittens were gone.
He put them in bow-ties and gave them to good homes.
At one home there was Roy, he was late for his soup.
He had been in the bathroom trying to go poop.
What he wanted most of all was some garden gnomes
He had many pictures that he had drawn.

My dog liked to eat his food, and swim in his pool.
On a hot summer day they liked to go and swim.
And also, late at night, they would scream and would shout.
They liked to throw big parties, there was no doubt.
It was strange what that dog would do on a whim.
He was never afraid to be a fool.