This is my silly song.
I think it won't take too long.
This is my silly song
about something super silly.

Have you ever had a song
that's just so silly
but, when you try to sing it
it only comes out seriously?
When you try to sing it,
the silliness is gone.

This is just such a song.
It was supposed to be so silly.
It started out real silly.
But now the silliness is gone.

I wanted it to be about
a super-duper silly beard,
but then the silliness
it left me alone.
And then the beard
it launched itself to the throne.

And the beard does not
like my silly song.
The beard only wants
very serious songs.

And so I'm stuck
singing this song
that was supposed to be
so silly.

But it's not.
It's just a serious
beard song.
A serious beard song
about a serious Beard King.

I thought it might be
a beautiful Beard Queen.
But no.
It's just a boring man beard.

But without a man behind it
it's just a masculine beard.
And so it is so very serious,
it does not like things silly.

But maybe if it were a beautiful woman's beard
it could be a little more silly.
Maybe if it was a gender-neutral beard
it would be even more silly!

But, do beards have gender?
I don't think they do.
But they do sometimes
have sense of humor.

Do beards have gender? I don't think they do.
And that beard it has no humor.
How do you add some humor to a beard?
It's not like leftovers that can fall in it.

How can you add some humor to a beard
when that beard is not so silly.

But, if that beard has his way
he will destroy the non-bearded faces.
If that beard, he has his way,
he will destroy so many.

But, perhaps he needs to know that
unbearded faces can be such fun.
Perhaps he needs to know that
all faces are important.

Do not destroy the unbearded faces!
Do not kill anyone!
They all have important roles to play
even if it's not holding beards.

But what if we just give people beards
So everyone can have a beard.
Would that make the Beard King happy?
Would that make the Beard King leave us alone?

So let's pass out the beards, oh yes!
I know we don't have fancy ones,
but some are made of yarn!
Sure! Some are made of yarn!

But I know that the Beard King doesn't see well.
He just uses his beard to touch things.
And he'll touch a beard and be so happy
and we can be happy too.

So, let's all have a serious beard
to wear upon our faces!
Give them to the children and babies.
Leave no barren faces!