I have gone and lost my hair.
It was sitting over there!
Right on that lovely chair.
That's where I last saw my hair.
I don't have hair, you see,
Because I am a lizard!
And lizards like me, we can grow no hair.

I know you probably grow some hair and stuff.
Your skin is, oh, so strange. 
And you shed it just all over, and it's real disgusting.
It would be cleaner if you shedded it in sheets.

But, I still, still miss my hair.
It was so lovely, that hair I kept there!
I looked at it and touched it, and sometimes slept with it.
I tied it around my forearm!
And now I am missing! Missing that hair!
I would like another, if you have any to spare.

But if you are a birdy, could you steal me one?
The humans they discard them everywhere.
If you are a birdy, could you spare some?
I know you know how wonderful they are.
They make things nice and real cozy.
They make a nest so lovely!

And it's really nice snuggle up
On cold days and when you're too hot!
Because, sometimes, you just want to snuggle up!
Perhaps after you have eaten a big meal.

I do like my meals once a week and not too soon.
Yes, I like my meals. I don't know how you mammals eat so fast!
I am not that impatient. I can wait until I'm hungry!
Why do you eat so fast? Is it because of your hair?

Having that lovely hair did not make me eat fast.
It kept me company, but I did not change my repast.
I do like the hair, but if that is the exchange,
I would prefer to simply wat once a week again.

So, if you need to keep your hair to yourself,
That is okay, because I just want to eat once a week.
Just once a week for me!
I don't know why you like to eat all the freaking time.