COPPA Compliance Notice (2020-02-09)

COPPA Compliance Notice

This is a website. This is also a gopher hole. This is also a site on the experimental Gemini platform.

It may be unreasonable to expect kids to be using Gopher or Gemini when they could be using the Web. The exact same content is available on all three protocols, which is why you'll find this message available, too.

Is this content directed toward children?

Most definitely not.

This location, regardless of the protocol used, is guaranteed to be both disturbing to some children as well as their parents. There's blood and guts everywhere. Cannibalism. Giant insects. Destruction of humanity.

If humanity is almost destroyed, then the fact that it was left unfinished is sad, not joyous. Think 1950s SciFi where aliens arrive, but humans are the real monsters.

The fact that much of it is sung in a manner that anyone could sing along is immaterial. There's even a lullaby that's explicitly designed to be terrifying to children. There's no "bad" words in the song, and it's available to purchase as the C track on the "Bumblebees in Marshmallow Sauce" single without a parental advisory sticker.

Then there's the small deities that crop up. This is a deeply polytheist site. Christians seem happy when their deities show up unannounced in products targeting kids, but tend to freak when others' deities show up.

I don't want Christians targeting my kids. I don't target other people's kids.

Let's dig in to some additional criteria:

Subject matter

Yes. (Probably.) Improvised songs and stories. The subject matter is derived from what I was doing when I was four years old. The core subject matter may qualify.

Visual content

No. (Clearly.) Generally, no visual content. The visual style is clearly not aimed at kids.

Animated characters

None. (Which means none target kids.)

Child-oriented activities

Yes. (Probably.) Like the subject matter, this may qualify.

Child-oriented incentives

No. There are no incentives here outside of lofi content.

Kind of music

No. (It would be a stretch.) Kids could do better, but clearly not targeting kids.

Age of models

Mostly, none. (Which means none target kids.) There's not a lot of visual content.

Kid-focused Celebrities

None. I am not a celebrity that particularly appeals to kids.

Other characteristics

Nope. I'll make a vague hand-gesture toward my earlier content statement. Almost no one would look at the site or content and think, "This is for kids."

Type of advertising used

N/A. There's no advertising, so it isn't targeting kids.

Empirical evidence about age of audience

N/A. No analytics are kept. There's no audience participation.

If I look at the additional criteria, you would have to make the leap that anything improvised in the manner of a child is automatically made for kids, and empirical evidence of the history of improv theater would clearly indicate otherwise.

Do we collect personal information?

We don't use cookies. We don't have targeted ads.

Considering that two of the protocols we host on don't support images, and none of them serve dynamic content, the only way we'd have ads is if they were text-based or baked in to media directly.

Do we track your history on this site?

This is a related question, and one that exists outside of "personal information" for legal purposes. It's a given for commercial websites, and the COPPA law doesn't consider it personal information.

We only track your history as much as can be derived from standard access logs. Not all of our services even support such access logs. Even the ones that support it may have it turned off.

We don't mine access logs for analytics data, so we have no reason to hold on to them. It's mostly a matter of, "did we remember to turn them off?"

Regardless of how frequently we roll over those logs (or whether we keep them at all) we can not guarantee that intermediaries won't track the pages you visit on this site.

In particular, the 'gopher' protocol is unencrypted, so any man-in-the-middle can monitor what you access.

The 'gemini' protocol is light-weight -- similar to gopher -- but uses SSL.

Are there age guidelines for anything?

No.

We may add support for POWDER at some point in the future, but it is not currently a priority.

For the indefinite future: This site is not safe for kids. It isn't safe for some adults. It may or may not be safe-for-work on a page-by-page basis, so -- if you're worried about that -- you should just avoid it.

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