Almost apocalyptic

Lyrics



When I found the person that stole my bike
it was almost apocalyptic!
When I found the person that stole my bike,
I wanted to cut them down.

I wanted to chop them apart in so many pieces!
I wanted to burn their burn their bones with some feces!
I did want to do these things,
but I held it together.

I wanted to these things because
I found, I found my bike named Bob!
so I did what we all do,
and I planted a bomb!

It was just a stink, stink bomb,
but it still really, really long.
And they were covering their mouths so much,
as I beat them, beat them down!

I know I shouldn't have touched them right,
but then they touched my Bob.
I needed to protect my Bob,
and I needed to insure that
they wouldn't steal my bike again.
That they wouldn't steal
someone else's bike.

So I broke their legs at their knees,
while they were covering their eyes.
Now they need a wheelchair,
and they can get transportation services.

I kind of helped them there,
because they had no way to get
from here to there without
violating, yes, the law.

I know I should have stopped,
but I thought I was being helpful!

I slipped away in the smoke and the stink.
I slipped away in the stink.


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Another day's commute

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