The last time I was clean shaven
I had this crazy dream.
I dreamed that a ghost beard
came to me.
That beard was fuzzy.
That beard was cute.
And it crawled, creeping all on me.
What do you do when you're visited by a beard?
What do you do when you're visited by a ghost?
And what, oh what could I do that day
when I was visited by a ghost beard.
That ghost beard crawled on me.
Scritchity, scratchity at my feet.
Demanding I wake up and
see it with my waking eyes.
I did not know what it desired!
I did not know how it could fly!
And yet it hung there in the sky.
Making me look at it.
Look at it until I cried.
What do I do when I'm visited by a ghost?
What do I do when I'm visited by a beard?
What do I do when I'm visited by a ghost beard?
What do I do? Who can I call?
Now you know I do not shave my face.
I don't shave my arms or my legs.
In fact that razor would be a big disgrace.
So it touches me nowhere.
Now when I dream of that lovely, ghostly beard
it sings to me happy beardy songs!
It praises me for my hairy body.
It sings to me until my dream is done.